First ever adventure in my life..MY LABOUR ;)

Ever since I came into terms with my pregnancy, I decided that it would be no other way than being my way- the conscious way. Like any other pregnant woman I started researching and educating myself regarding pregnancy phases, nutrition, baby products, pregnancy products, breast feeding, breast pumps, etc. But, the one thing I gave extra focus on were possible challenges that I would experience not just physically but also mentally and emotionally during and after pregnancy. I researched so much and prepared myself to take the challenges, one at a time  making conscious decisions. I not only educated myself but also my dear husband regarding everything that I learnt, this helped us to handle situations better as a team. My dear husband has always been kind, generous and empathetic towards me and my situation to the extent where he would wake up along with me in the middle of the nights at any given time just to help and support us (me and the little one inside me).

Everything was going wonderfully well with the pregnancy and the baby. My parents arrived from India to Sweden to help me and Manoj :). I just want to let you know that at this point, I have already prepared my mom and dad not to push us with “the traditional or cultural way of doing things” rather it’s going to be my way ;). I made them understand that it’s important for us as new parents to have space, allow us to participate and get involved  in every aspect of our child’s life from the beginning. It’s not that they approved or disapproved, but simply accepted it. 

One week before my due date,when everything seemed perfectly alright with my pregnancy, we went for a usual checkup. My midwife noticed excessive water retention in my body and high blood pressure situation and asked me to see the emergency right away. We told our parents nothing to worry, it’s just that they want to monitor my blood pressure and so we are going to the emergency. My Angel followed me to the emergency and took me to the scan, that’s when we came to know its a big baby and I need to get induced as early as possible considering the high BP situation. We were not prepared for this challenge, I wasn’t scared but the way they broke the news just made me a little anxious. My mind started swirling around saying “BIG BABY…BIG BABY” :)) and I started feeling sorry for my vagina ;). We just kept the news to ourselves to avoid unnecessary panic from family and friends. 

I didn’t take much time to get into terms with my baby being big or small for that matter. In my head I just thought- “this is my first pregnancy and so the delivery is going to be challenging for me and my vagina regardless of the baby being the size of a cherry tomato or watermelon :p”. I spoke to my baby saying that we are in this together and we are going to nail it :). So, me and my dear husband are ready with an action plan for my delivery. You may be wondering what the hell is an action plan?? Haha :)). After reading tons of blogs and knowing tons of experiences from near and dear ones, I came up with an action plan that helps me during the time of delivery.

Action plan is something that allows you to respond to challenges with more ease and presence. After reading and knowing the experiences of many mothers, I took a note of the most common experiences and challenges that a woman undergoes during the delivery. I sat down with my husband and explained to him everything that I had read and decided upon a set of instructions that helps us during the time of delivery. As I knew that I am a person who needs space and calmness for myself at the time of challenging situations, I told my husband and my mother not to come close to me unless I raised my finger. I told them I will raise my finger as I may not be able to talk at that time or explain my needs with patience. So, whenever I raise my finger it means that I need some water or help to go to the loo or  maybe I need a cold cloth to wipe my face. We implemented exactly as we planned and it worked like a gem. 

When it’s time to push the baby out, my midwife told me that she will tell me when I have to push and then I can. What do you think I did? Of Course yes!! Why would I need someone else to say when and how much to push? As my body is already communicating to me through pain. So,I gently denied her by saying I will raise my hand when my contractions begin and then I start pushing out the baby. She was impressed, so me, my husband and my midwife teamed up now, as I asked my mom to sit at one corner as she was worried about her little one i.e me 🙂 . My husband would notice my signal and alert the midwife and here we go push, another push, another push little harder and more 😉 (looks like kegel exercises worked best). It was a mission you know :)), a mission to bring my little one safe and sound to this world. I closed my eyes and focused all my life energies towards delivering my little one. 

I knew that it was an equally challenging ride for my little one too, so we secretly teamed up :p. After long intense hours of labour my little one came out…”yayy!!” Great!! It felt surreal, I opened my eyes with my husband’s kiss and saw the midwife holding my baby. It was blurry as I didn’t put on my glasses, the baby was blue in color and didn’t cry when it came out, so the midwife rushed out immediately to give a little help to breathe and my husband followed her. Everything happened in a moment, I gasped and asked another midwife who came to help me further, what happened ?? Is everything okay?? How is the baby?? Then she replied that he is fine, he just needs a little help to breath. Ahh it’s a he!! That’s when I came to know that it was Vismai :). My husband and midwife came back with a bright smile and little Vismai. He looked just perfect, as perfect as the morning sunshine, as perfect as the first snowfall during winter, as perfect as the fine little flower in our backyards. My little Vismai opened his eyes as soon as she placed him on my chest. He opened his eyes as if he was waiting so long to see me, I captured the moment with my fine lens and framed it in my heart!

Okay now clap clap it’s time to take away the little nuggets of wisdom from this story…… 🙂

• Take the lead guys. This ride is absolutely yours and why would you let someone else hold the steering for you? When you lead anything in your life, you feel more responsible, accountable, confident and above all you tend to see possibilities over any problem or challenge at any given time.
• Effective communication with your partner is the key. Let him know and understand every little thing that you are going through rather than suffering in silence. Communicate with him in a way that it helps him to see and respond to your situation with more empathy.
• Have an action plan for your delivery. It helps you to deal the situation with more ease. Prepare yourself and your mind how to respond for those particular challenging situations, so that you don’t get panicked or confused not knowing what to do or how to respond at that time . When you have an action plan there is no place for panic, confusion, anxiety and stress.
• Invite someone who understands you and willing to help you selflessly with no or least high drama situations. Make sure to have someone who lifts your spirits up with their kindness even when you are losing hope in yourself. 
• Practice Kegel exercises during pregnancy (contract and relax your pelvic floor muscles).
• Get ready for the roller coaster ride of emotions and challenges ;).
• Finally Pushhhh……. :))

Now you may say that I am lucky enough to have a loving, understanding and empathetic husband so it was possible for me to do so, which I would never deny. But, also pay attention to the fact that I made a choice to stand up for myself and voice out my opinions and effectively communicate my needs and wants. It’s important for you to recognize that you have a choice of saying “NO” for what you are not convinced or comfortable with. Also, recognize the fact that there is no one particular way of doing things, you can always create your own way or follow someone else’s. Understand that it is purely your choice whether to lead or to be lead by others, either way is fine but only when you consciously choose it.