Hello my dear beautiful parents, I hope you all are doing great and having wonderful time with your little humans. I cannot tell you how happy I am to be able to share my experiences and perspective on parenting with you all. I strongly feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment when I read your comments. So I want to take time and thank you before starting today’s topic. THANK YOU! I am truly humbled by your responses.
I am absolutely excited to pour my heart out on this topic to you. As I am writing today, I feel extremely overwhelmed with the feeling of gratitude for my little one and for what motherhood has done to me in this finite amount of time. The title says it all, “MOTHERHOOD IS A POWER”. Yes!! It’s an absolute power. Now, I know society has given different shades on this word which is largely associated with hierarchical attitudes and doings. But today I want to discuss the power that I tapped into and realised through parenting. Yes!! The “power”, the power of knowing oneself, the power of knowing life’s way of doing things, the power of being in the present moment, the power of being able to protect, care and comfort a life despite of being vulnerable, the power of being able to guide and nurture a life, the power of being fierceful yet gentle, the power of being selfless, the power of letting go of inhibitions, the power of operating with utmost awareness, the power of unlearning the old ways and rebuilding the new you. Sounds familiar?? I know, you must be realizing it already, if you haven’t till now. If you are still wondering how?? I welcome you to join me through this ride :).
It was two and half years back (January 2018 to be precise), on a cold winter morning I delivered my little human into this world. It was an experience that allowed me to realize the power of my body, it was miraculous. What a beautiful power that a woman’s body has! We are not just meat and organs that interests few audiences, we are not just shapes and sizes as few comments us, but a powerhouse that has an ability to nurture, protect and comfort a life inside our wombs and deliver it bearing all the pain. Have you ever realised the power of your body and your being before? Have you ever realised that you have the capacity to love, care and feel for a being that you have never met or seen before?? I hadn’t realised it until very recently and when I realised it, I was blown away with extreme love, compassion and respect for myself and my being.
Motherhood has become a wonderful tool for me to revisit my childhood memories. I saw myself in my little human. When my little human rolled over, crawled, walked, jumped for the first time, I realised how happy I was as a little human doing that, I realised how accomplished I felt doing that as a kid. This came to me as a surprise, we all once had the capacity to enjoy little things in our lives, we never looked for someone to recognize or applaud us but simply enjoyed it with a great smile. Do you realize what we all are capable of? We are capable of enjoying little things in life, we are capable of appreciating ourselves and patting our backs with great sense of fulfillment. We don’t need someone else to tell us that we are doing great. The only one we need to hear it from is “US” my dear, because we did that when we were nothing but life and so we are capable of doing it now. This is our power!!
Little humans are our absolute spiritual guides, you may have n-number of things going around you that break you, shake you in a way that you never imagined before. But, when you look at your little human, he/she will be smiling at you, cuddling you, kissing you, looking at you with great love and compassion. Do you realize it?? It is right there in front of you my dear. Your brand new baby is nothing but full of life and that life is telling you “I don’t care how the world perceives you and looking at you, I am right here to love you with compassion, cuddle you and comfort you, support you at my best capacity, look into my eyes I believe in you and trust you totally no matter what. It’s magical, the life in you is saying things to you and now you can see it through your little humans. Your life is communicating to you to be present, pay attention to it! This is your power and an absolute opportunity to know the real you as a life but nothing else.
This happened a few months back, I was so tired by the end of the day and it’s time for bed. We took care of our bedtime routine and took my little human to bed. My little one became so playful and he started blabbering. I told him “Vismai, mom is so tired can you pat my back and sing a song for me?” To my surprise the funny voice of blabbering suddenly shifted to this calm and melodies soothing voice, he is of course great at creating his own lyrics and tunes ;). He sang a song with his hand on my cheek, it just felt so wonderful. It felt wonderful because he was so gentle, for a second I felt as if he was mothering me. He literally imitated me haha :).
The other day Vismai was upset with me for not giving him water to play, so as an act of not being ok with my decision, my little human left the room closing the door and he came back in no time. Bammm it hit me right there, this is how I exactly did once with him and the other thing to notice is that he moved on so quickly from that emotion. I learned another powerful lesson here, our little humans are our reflections, if they are doing something that is not ok for us, that means we need to work upon ourselves. Life is responding to you just as you are responding to it! It’s time to unlearn the old habits and rebuild the new you, the better version of you. Knowing that it’s time to wake up to better ourselves, knowing that we are capable of more than what we think and willing to transform ourselves is an absolutely powerful thing to do and the power is within us.
When my little human was around 9 months old, I took him out for a bus ride. We boarded the bus and sat quietly at the place we were designated to sit, Vismai was in his stroller. Vismai was asking me to sing wheels on the bus enacting it :). I hesitated to sing, not that I am bad at singing, it’s just that I cared more about what others may think. But when my little human repeatedly asked me to sing, I just left all my inhibitions and sang my heart out. It felt liberating. Our little humans let us give permission to ourselves to jump, dance, sing and be silly totally and authentically. You may be someone who is shying away from all these activities for so long to the extent where you have almost forgotten what it meant to you once, but when you have a child you suddenly start doing things you once enjoyed and stopped due to societal expectations. Now I do not mind to sing, dance or do whatever I want to because I know my little one is watching me. If I constipate myself from doing things I love, there is a high chance that he would do the same thinking it is normal. Understand that you are a reference to your little one, you are a guiding star, you are a guiding angel to your little human, remember it always. Do you realize your power now??
Motherhood brings a lot of positive changes in you. I mean I am scared of lizards to the extent where I wouldn’t move a single step forward from where I am if I see one. But, now put me and my little one in a room with Komodo dragon , you wouldn’t be surprised to see me ripping off its ribs if it tries to touch my little one. What are you thinking? No no motherhood didn’t make me violent, I am just trying to say that’s the kind of courage we all acquire when we become a parent/ a mother. These little humans will make us take stands and know the power of our voice as we protect them from the unconscious people and society. I am sure you agree with me on this, because you would have taken a stand for yourself which you never took before to protect and provide a safe environment to your little one. You are amazingly powerful.. Own it!!
All I want to tell you is that seeing yourself in your child’s way of doing things will help you realize how you were when you started this very life as a human being. We all are deeply conditioned by our families, our societies and we let them dictate our lives thinking that’s how it should be. I want you to realize how vibrant you were as a child, how authentic you were, how forgiving you were, how quickly you moved on, how intensely and unconditionally you loved, how persistent you were in doing things, most importantly how joyful and full of life you were! Yess!! We are full of life damn it! Do not allow societal judgments, comments and negativity enter your mind and heart . When something unpleasant happens to you, you have a choice to suffer it or work about it, you have a choice to stand still or move on, you have a choice to stand up for yourself or sit in chios.
I am emphasizing motherhood over fatherhood or parenthood in general because I saw a need for little empowerment here, because society is clearly unfair to new mothers :). My intention is not to glorify motherhood over fatherhood in any way. The purpose of my blog is not just to give you little tips and tricks that help you have wonderful time and beautiful memories with your little one but also to empower you in every possible way to find yourself and rebuild the best version of you.
While I am saying this, I also want to tell you that I have gone through a fair share of shit myself if not exactly as yours. Trust me I literally pulled myself up and dusted it off turning inward through meditation. I can’t tell you in words how it transformed my life and my ways of looking at things and perceiving it. I highly recommend you to start meditating everyday at least for 15 to 20 minutes, there are plenty of guided meditations on YouTube, pick one you feel comfortable with. I personally follow 6 phase meditation designed by Vishen Lakhiani.
I hope this helps you find peace, strength and power in yourself. I will see you again in the next post, until then enjoy every moment with your little human cause he/she will not be little forever :).
Loads of love from me to you 🙂
Kaman's Happy Tummy 