Ahh!! What a wonderful topic to discuss about! It feels heartwarming to see our little ones fall asleep in our arms. Who wouldn’t love that sight? Those tiny little feet, hands and innocent smiles while sleeping ahh feels so wonderful. Isn’t it!? Having said that, putting down our little humans to sleep can be a task sometimes that can leave us sleep deprived, stressful and probably less worthy of motherhood sometimes. I get it my dear, I have been there too. It’s totally ok to feel that way as we are trying to figure out our ways to help and support a brand new baby which has come with no manual. So, breath…. it’s okay, you are not alone 🙂 and moreover I have something that would possibly help you and your little one have a peaceful bedtime. So, stick with me :).
If you have been following my blog already, I assume by now you might have understood that I largely talk in terms of habit building, empathy and observation and this post is not any different. Conscious parenting is always trying to see the situation from the child’s perspective and respond accordingly and I am pretty sure that you would be more than happy to help your little one and help yourself by consciously taking care of little things.
Today, I am going to discuss four most important things that you need to pay attention for while putting your little one to sleep.
Pay attention to their sleep and feeding patterns- This is the first and foremost thing that you need to pay attention to, as our little humans wake up in the middle of the nights to settle down their hunger and of course get cleaned up a bit. Sleep and feeding patterns vary from one baby to another and also changes with time, so it’s important for us to pay attention to their patterns rather than blindly following others. Only then we can plan things accordingly and help not just them but also us :). It doesn’t require any expertise but little patience and attention. Observe and pay close attention to your little one for at least 3 days and understand their pattern.
Just to give you an idea, Vismai’s schedule looked like this:
Day time:
Wake up @ 6:00 am (feed and diaper change)
Stay awake for 45 min to 1 hr and sleep again
Wake up @ 9:00 am (feed and diaper change)
Stay awake for 45 min to 1hr and sleep again
Wake up @12:00 pm ,15:00,18:00 (feed and diaper chain and stay awake in between for anywhere between 45 min to 1 hr)
Night time : He used to sleep by 19:00 and still wake up every three hours ( 21:00 , 24:00, 03:00 am and 06:00 am) for feed and used to fall back asleep as soon as he is fed.
Now, your little one’s pattern might look the same as ours or very different like my friend’s baby who used to cluster feed for every 45 mins. So, pay attention to their patterns so that you can plan accordingly. Also, babies that are breastfed may feel hungry faster than those who are not, as breast milk is easily digestible and easy on their tummy. I am telling it so that you need not get stressed comparing your baby’s pattern with someone else’s babies.
Take the lead and give clear instructions- I want you to take the lead. It’s okay to take help from your near and dear ones but make sure that you lead your parenting style. Don’t let anyone decide for yourself and your baby, because things that are done even with the best intention may lead to stress when they are not done consciously. So, if you are someone who believes in conscious parenting then it’s time for you to take the lead and direct it with utmost consciousness. Now you might be wondering how does this relate to today’s topic right?
Sure, I will explain why!
Let’s say you invited someone to help you or might have to entertain someone else’s wish for being there with you when the baby is born. Either ways you end up having one or two adults in your house, who will most probably be from your family or his. So, these adults can be saviours of your life or killers of your peace. Oops don’t jump into judgments and conclusions although you are free to do so. Let me explain you why, In the initial days after delivery your body needs some time to rest and heal, so you ask these “dear whoever it is” some help to look after the baby or they might be voluntarily willing to help you with good intention of course ( let’s put it that way :p).
You gave the little one to them so they can help him/her to fall asleep, and you can get some time to have a meal or go to loo or shower may be. So, with utmost dedication and enthusiasm they were willing to help you and cuddle the baby of course :P, they put the little one on their shoulder and started walking around the room or house or around the planet ;), or might have rocked the baby to sleep on their shoulder or in the crib. You came back and thanked them so much with great relief. You were very happy to see the baby sleeping peacefully. Days passed and they left home. So, now of course it’s your turn to help the little one fall asleep, you tried your best but the baby is finding it difficult to fall asleep, in utter confusion you called them and asked for the trick (the trick that your baby got habituated into). Although they feel for you, they couldn’t stop themselves from feeling proud about their ways and tricks. So they reveal them of course with the best intention. Okay! Now you follow their trick blindly and fall into a trap which leads you toward stress, back pain, shoulder pain, sleep deprivation etc as the baby wont sleep unless you rock him/her or run a marathon around your house with it on your shoulder.
This is not an exaggeration, the majority of new mothers look up to the elderly women in their families and these women are usually equipped with methods that are largely unconscious which in fact lead to stress. The idea of putting the baby to sleep through breast feeding or by rocking him/her back and forth can only cause stress and sleep deprivation to new mothers or parents. Because in reality whenever the baby is awake it will need you to rock it back to sleep or feed again and again until it falls back to sleep. It’s not the baby’s fault to keep you awake during night as the trick became the comforting factor to it. Please, pay attention and take the lead. We don’t need someone to feed us or rock us to sleep isn’t it? They just need warm cuddles so they feel secure and fall back to sleep.
Set a bedtime routine and right ambiance- I can’t tell you how much this helped us and our little one to have a really good night sleep. We always made sure to stick with the bed time routine and set the right ambiance for our little one to sleep even when we are at somebody else’s place. Here consistency is the key. You will have to be consistent with your approach of whatever it is in order to work effectively. Bedtime routine helps the baby to slow down and calm down a bit. It helps them to understand that it’s time for their bedtime and soon she/he has to go to sleep. The combination of bedtime routine and ambiance goes hand in hand.
When I say ambiance, what I mean is that you need to turn down or dim your lights at least 1 hour before bedtime and gradually turn it off by the time they sleep. Also a big no no for gadgets. Turn off your televisions, computers and mobile phones anything that stimulates their brain and can potentially interrupt their sleep. It’s important that kids are not exposed to bright lights before and during sleep times, as it decreases the level of melatonin (sleep harmon) in their body which in turn affects their circadian rhythm. A combination of dark room with a very pleasant and soothing music or with a white noise sounds works best. Make sure not to put the volume high, it should be just on the soothing level. You can buy a white noise sound machines for babies in any baby store or Amazon website or can also play it on youtube.
Bedtime routine should be as simple as possible. Start it by turning down all the lights to maximum in your rooms and give a quick warm shower to the little one, put pajamas on. You can follow it up by telling a story or singing a song, but remember to keep it short and less dramatic in order to avoid the baby getting into play/active mode. Finally squeeze them with a lot of cuddles and kisses saying good night and completely turn off the lights. Turn on the white noise sounds or pleasant music, this will help to minimise the external sounds which can cause disturbance for sleep. Stick with the routine, remember that consistency is the key!
Resist your temptations- Oh ho ho these little humans, they love us so much that they constantly try to connect with us. So, they make these cute little gestures, sounds or smile in a way that we get tempted so much that we can’t help ourselves from picking them up.The moment you make eye contact there is no way going back, you will have to entertain them till they finally fall asleep. I know I know it’s hard right? Here I would like to share a very recent experience of mine. It’s summer here in Sweden and the sun wouldn’t go down until 10:00pm. So Vismai is finding it hard to fall asleep, however we are so determined to stick with our routine. When it’s time for him to sleep, I closed my eyes and pretended as if I was sleeping. Vismai was trying his best to gain my attention, he sang rhymes, songs etc and came very close to my face (I could feel his breath) and started laughing. Being aware of his tactics I just resisted myself from laughing and opening my eyes. He then started kissing me, I couldn’t tell you how hard it was to pretend further, yet I resisted myself opening my eyes. Finally, he came a little closer and started licking my face like a little puppy hahahaha I couldn’t stop myself but laugh and kiss him back. It is how it is…They are so…persistent, you know ;).
I hope you got some insights regarding this topic. NO NO this is not it, I have more to discuss so stay tuned because I will be continuing the topic next week.
Until then good night to you, good night to me… now close your eyes and go to sleep. Good night sweet dreams, good night…..I love you !
See you next week!
Kaman's Happy Tummy 